Gemma: You know, Andrew was a quiet person, but the flat seems empty without him.
Bill: It certainly does… I can’t talk about sports with anyone any more.
Charlotte: Hm. I even miss the smell of burnt toast every morning. He really was a terrible cook!
Bill: You can say that again… remember his chicken and bananas? That might be the strangest meal I’ve ever eaten! Look what I found in the washer this morning! He left them in there!
Mary: Cheer up everyone, it’s not the end of the world! Stop moaning and do something! You might find someone just as nice. Look, why don’t you put an ad in the newspaper? You may well get an answer before the end of the week.
Charlotte: You might be right, Mary… but our new flatmate may turn out to be a monster! You never know…
Bill: I think we should ask one of the girls from my gym. They’re all really nice girls. Look… Sally, for example, would be a perfect flatmate!
Gemma: Well, I know you think she has a perfect body, Bill, but I’d like someone with a nice personality, too. I don’t want to live with a total stranger. You hear some terrible stories… she might kill us in our beds one night!
Mary: Oh, for goodness’ sake, Gemma. Don’t exaggerate! Look, here’s a pen. Here’s the paper… Why don’t you write out your ad while all three of you are together!
Charlotte: Now, where shall we start? Let’s see… how’s this? ‘Wanted: Person to share comfortable 4-bed flat…’
Gemma: That’s a good start, but do we want a boy or a girl?
Charlotte: A boy!
Bill: A girl!
Mary: Just put m/f after person and see who applies! Honestly!
Charlotte: Right. ‘Wanted: Single person to share comfortable 4 bed flat with three young professionals…’
Bill: Professionals?
Mary: Yes, you want someone who’ll pay their rent!
Charlotte: Now, what’s next? Oh, I know, non-smoker…
Gemma: And don’t forget GSOH.
Bill: What’s that?
Gemma: ‘Good sense of humour’, of course. We want someone who’s good fun!
Charlotte: Excellent point, Gemma! No pets, of course…
Bill: Hey! I know, I know, I know… ‘Enjoys the theatre’…
Gemma: Oh yes, and ‘good cook’… you never know, we may get a professional chef!
Charlotte: And they must enjoy music, too… er… we play it all the time!
Gemma: Yes, that’s true… but they might play it late at night!
Charlotte: Mmm, yes… oh, I know…
Bill: It would be nice to have a foreigner… so we might be able to practise our languages!
Gemma: Must be sociable…
Charlotte: But not too many friends round all the time…
Mary: Wait, wait… let me hear what you’ve written so far.
Charlotte: ‘Wanted: Single person, M/F, to share comfortable 4-bed flat with three young professionals. GSOH, non-smoker, no pets, must enjoy theatre and music during the day, sociable but not too many friends. Foreigners welcome.’
Charlotte: I think we should start again!
Gemma: Yeah!